The following material is an extract from NOT JUST ANY MAN, A Novel of Old New Mexico, Copyright © 2018 Loretta Miles Tollefson. Published by Palo Flechado Press, Santa Fe, NM
A Note about Spanish Terms: This novel is set in northern New Mexico and reflects as much as possible the local dialect at that time. Even today, Northern New Mexico Spanish is a unique combination of late 1500s Spanish, indigenous words from the First Peoples of the region and of Mexico, and terms that filtered in with the French and American trappers and traders. I’ve tried to represent the resulting mixture as faithfully as possible. My primary source of information was Rubén Cobos’ excellent work, A Dictionary of New Mexico and Southern Colorado Spanish (University of New Mexico Press, 2003). Any errors in spelling, usage, or definition are solely my responsibility.
CHAPTER 36
Jeremiah Peabody is well enough the following week to sit in his parlor chair and receive visitors. Gerald takes the opportunity to repeat all he’s told Suzanna about the winter’s hunt. The older man listens quietly, his illness making him less likely to interrupt with questions, more likely to watch the younger man’s eyes stray to Suzanna. She sits in the window, demurely stitching a new shirt for her father when she isn’t glancing at Gerald.
Peabody’s eyes close, then open again when Gerald stops speaking. “Go on,” he says. “About the valley?”
“I’m tiring you,” Gerald says apologetically.
“No, no.” Jeremiah’s hand waves toward the window. “The light is a little bright today.”
Suzanna’s eyes lift from her work. “Shall I adjust your chair?”
“No, no.” He smiles. “I like to watch you sitting there. It reminds me of my mother.”
She smiles and looks down at the cotton fabric ruefully. “I don’t sew as well as she did.”
He chuckles. “No, but your knowledge of plants and herbs is far superior to hers.” He turns to Gerald. “The early willow she found saved my life.”
“Oh papá, you exaggerate,” Suzanna says. “You weren’t in any real danger.”
“It felt as if I was.” He takes a deep breath. “It is good to feel my chest expand fully again.”
She looks at him affectionately and turns back to her work. “This thread has knotted yet again,” she grumbles. “How I wish clothes could make themselves as plants do!”
The men look at each other and chuckle. “So, tell me more of this valley,” her father says.
Gerald could sit in the Peabody parlor forever, feeling the calm of its adobe walls and mica-paned windows, talking quietly with Jeremiah Peabody, watching Suzanna stitch her father’s shirts. But she grows restless in the half-light of the parlor and the temporary February thaw.
“I know it isn’t time yet to plant,” she tells the men one afternoon. “But I’d like to at least check on my potato plot. I left some plants in the ground, to test if they would overwinter in place.” She turns to Gerald. “Would you accompany me? I’m hoping to return with enough for a few meals, and the basket will be heavy.”
Jeremiah Peabody raises his eyebrows at the sight of his daughter playing the weak female, but Gerald feels only the sweetness of being asked to help. He’s instantly on his feet.
“You may need an additional wrap,” her father tells her. “I suspect it is cooler out there than it appears.”
As she goes to retrieve her cloak, Gerald turns to him. “I suspect it’s the exercise that she’s truly after. But I’ll make sure she stays warm, sir.”
Peabody smiles at him. “I know you will. I believe you care for her welfare almost as much as I do.”
Gerald’s chest tightens and looks away, his face red. “I do care for her very much, sir.” He forces his eyes up. “I know I am not worthy of her, sir.”
Now Peabody looks away. “No one is worthy of her,” he murmurs. He glances at Gerald, then turns his gaze to the window. He chuckles. “Not until she decides they are, at any rate.”
Gerald waits, his breath suspended, anxiety threading through him. Should he speak now? Should he tell the man the truth about himself? But then Suzanna appears in the doorway, wrapped in a knee-length gray-and-red-striped woolen cloak, a large wicker basket on her arm.
Her father’s head swings toward her. “Do you think that basket will be large enough for a only few meals worth of potatoes?” he teases.
She chuckles. “I’d rather take too large a basket than one that’s too small!” She turns to Gerald. “Are you ready?” She lifts a short spade from the bottom of the basket and waves it at him. “I hope you’re prepared to dig!”
Gerald moves toward her, his heart light.
But as they walk through the village’s adobe-walled streets, Suzanna becomes uncharacteristically silent. Gerald’s heart sinks. Has she heard about Jones? Does she suspect the truth about his race? He slides a look sideways. There’s no longer a smile in her eyes. In fact, she seems to be looking everywhere but in his direction. As if he’s a stranger she’s trying to avoid, not a friend walking beside her.
He tries to think of something to say, but everything that comes to him seems either too innocuous or too intimate. He studies his feet as they move out of the village and onto the network of paths that lead to the acequia and the potato patch.
The only sound is the tramp of their feet on the path and the chatter of an occasional bird in the narrow leaf cottonwoods overhead. Suddenly Suzanna stops and clutches Gerald’s arm.
“Look!” she gasps. She nods at the path ahead, where it curves around the corner of a field. She turns to him, her eyes shining. “Did you see it?”
He shakes his head and tears his eyes away from hers. The path bends to the right, following the line of the irrigation ditch.
Suzanna frowns. “I’m sure I saw a wild turkey. A hen, I think. It went into the field.”
“If we’re quiet, it may still be there,” he whispers.
She nods and they move cautiously ahead. Just before the bend, they step off the path and toward the field, holding their breaths. On the far side of the rows of corn stubble, a lone turkey hen pecks at the debris. Her dark brown feathers gleam in the sunlight.
Suzanna looks at Gerald in delight and he smiles into her eyes, all discomfort gone. She turns back to the field. The turkey, apparently unaware of their presence, moves slowly but steadily toward the row of bushes that divides the field from its neighbor beyond. Gerald and Suzanna look at each other, then the path. If they follow it around the corner of the field, they’ll be closer to the bird.
They move cautiously back to the path and then slowly along it, eyes glued to the bird. As they round the corner, the turkey hen begins to move along the bushes at the edge of the field, and away from the path. Head down, pecking at the grass, it seems to be unaware of the humans. But it still moves steadily away as they approach.
Gerald chuckles. “They’re intelligent creatures,” he murmurs.
Suzanna grins. “You’d think it knows that we’re here,” she says. As she speaks, the turkey slips through the bushes and disappears into the opposite field. Suzanna shakes her head. “They’re so beautiful,” she says. “And so shy.”
“Old Bill and I saw whole flocks of them in the canyon of the Cimarron,” Gerald says. “I suspect they also spend time in the valley above during the summer months.”
“You certainly seem enamored of that valley,” Suzanna teases. Then her face flushes and she looks away, up at the sky and the sun. “It’s getting late.” She turns and strides away from him down the path. “We need to get those potatoes and get home— Get back before dark falls.” She looks up again and laughs awkwardly. “The days are still short, even if it does feel like spring.”
Gerald hurries after her. She seemed so sweet, so normal, just a moment ago and now the curtain has come down again on her face. Despair overcomes him.
Suddenly, Suzanna’s foot twists against a rock in the path and she lurches to one side. Gerald reaches for her elbow, but she pulls away with a little jerk and hurries on.
He feels a sudden surge of anger. He should just turn back, let her gather her potatoes herself. Clearly, she doesn’t want him here. Her attitude toward him has definitely changed over the winter. But he hasn’t done anything to precipitate such a change. Has he? He tries to think back, to what was said in the parlor, to her father’s expression of good will.
Or does she know something her father doesn’t? Has she heard about Enoch Jones or, worse still, learned who Gerald’s father is? His jaw tightens. He should just leave her to her opinions, whatever they are. Yet he finds himself following her down the dusty acequia path. The cheerful early-spring green that dots the bushes and trees seems to mock his discomfort. Yet he follows her.
By the time they reach the potato patch, Suzanna seems to have walked off her irritation, if that’s what it was. She wades eagerly into the middle of her plants and bends over the half dozen hills she’s left to overwinter.
Gerald follows her through the fence and watches her use her hand spade to push aside the slimy, freeze-blackened potato leaves. She shoves the blade into the ground and looks up at Gerald in surprise. “The soil is still quite soft!”
He kneels beside the hill, oblivious to the plant matter under his knees, and begins sifting dirt through his fingers, feeling for knobs of potato. When he finds one, he presses his thumb against its resisting skin. “They’re very firm,” he says. “They seem to have survived nicely.”
Suzanna crouches beside him. “They’re beautiful!” She leans closer, her face inches from his.
He smiles into her eyes. “Beautiful as a turkey?” he teases.
She laughs. “In their own way!” As she reaches for the tuber, her fingers brush his palms.
“Beautiful as you,” he says softly.
She glances up, startled, and he holds her gaze. Then he turns his head and sifts his fingers through the cold and damp earth. “I have no right to speak,” he mutters.
But she’s still looking at him, the potato in her hand. “You have every right,” she says softly. She tilts forward, as if drawn to him by an invisible string.
He lifts a hand, whether to keep her from falling or pull her closer, he doesn’t know. Then he sees the dirt on his fingers and grimaces. “My hands are soiled,” he says.
“We are all soiled, one way or another,” she murmurs. Then her head is on his shoulder and they’re crouched in the middle of the potato patch, his arms around her, kissing her gently.
She moves closer in response and he loses his balance and falls backward into the dirt. Suzanna laughs helplessly. She stands up, drops the potato in her basket, and gives him her hand. “I didn’t mean to topple you!”
He pulls himself up and faces her. His stomach clenches. If he doesn’t say it now, he never will.
Her smile fades. “I—”
“I need to tell you—” He breaks off and looks away. Then he gathers his courage and faces her, his hands clenched. “I killed a man,” he blurts.
She tilts her head enquiringly.
“I stabbed him. In the wilderness.” He turns his head and studies the cottonwoods on the other side of the acequia, not daring to watch her expression change.
“There was cause,” she says gently.
He turns back to her. “You know?”
She nods, watching his face. “Gregorio told his mother.” She smiles slightly. “I don’t believe he told her everything, but enough that she understood that Jones was attacking him when you came upon them. He says you saved his life.”
Gerald shakes his head. “It wasn’t his life Jones was after.”
“I know,” she says simply. “Although I don’t believe Antonia does. There are some things a boy can’t tell even his mother.” Her lips twist. “If Jones had achieved his goal, Gregorio would have been deeply ashamed. There’s no telling what he might have done.” She shudders. “Jones was a beast and much bigger than Gregorio. He—” She turns away, looks at the trees, and takes a deep breath. “I know it’s wrong to be glad for a man’s death, but I can’t help it.” She faces him, her eyes anxious. “I’m glad you did what you did. Does that make you think ill of me?”
Gerald shakes his head. “Given the threat he was to you, I can understand how you feel.”
“But he was no threat to you,” she says. “You acted to protect others, not yourself.”
He absently brushes his hand against his leg, bracing himself to tell her that Jones was indeed a threat to him, that he’d guessed Gerald’s most important secret, but before he can speak she begins to laugh. She points at the the dirt his hands have streaked across his trousers.
“You’re just making it worse!” she says.
He stops brushing and reaches for her, dirty hands and all. “If it makes you laugh, then it doesn’t matter.”
She leans into him again, hiding her face in the curve of his shoulder as his arms slip around her waist. “If you will only do this, nothing else matters,” she murmurs.
He pulls back, holding her at arm’s length, looking into her face. “There is something else I need to tell you. Something about me—”
She shakes her head and puts her fingers to his lips. “I know everything about you that I need to know,” she says firmly. She leans forward, into his chest. “Nothing else matters. Only this is important.”
A wild, unbelieving joy fills his heart as he pulls her still closer against him.
~ ~ ~ ~
They’re a long time returning to the Peabody casa, neither wanting to break the spell that holds them beside Suzanna’s patch of potatoes. Finally, the late afternoon chill drives them back to the village.
When the gate comes in sight, their steps slow.
“I will speak to your father now,” Gerald says. “Though I’m not sure just what to say.” He looks sideways at her and smiles. “You haven’t actually said that you’ll marry me.”
She laughs. “You haven’t actually asked me.”
He chuckles and releases her hand. Then he takes off his hat with a flourish and kneels before her in the dirt street. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Encarnación at the gate, her hand to her mouth, her eyes gleeful.
Gerald focuses on Suzanna’s face, which is suddenly still. “Señorita Suzanna Peabody, will you do me the immense honor of being my bride?” he asks solemnly.
Suzanna nods wordlessly and Gerald raises an eyebrow. “You have no words?” he teases.
“You have left me speechless,” she says, smiling at him. Then she reaches for his hand. “Yes,” she says simply. “Most certainly, yes.”
He rises and they lean into each other, his lips on her cheek.
At the gate, Encarnación wipes a tear from her face and slips back into the courtyard. Ramón is sitting on a stool near the kitchen door, cleaning out a gourd as a first step to making her a new dipper. She crosses the yard and smiles down at him. “It is as you said.” She gestures toward the gate. “They are just there. He has spoken to her.”
He looks up. “And she has answered?”
Encarnación smiles. “She has answered.”
“And you, sweet Chonita?” Ramón asks. He places the gourd and his knife on the ground and stands, reaching for her hand. “Will you give me the same answer?”
She smiles affectionately. “Ah, Jesús Ramón Chavez. My dearest amigo.”
His face darkens. “Only amigo?”
She closes her eyes. “I swore to myself that you would be merely my friend.” She bites her lip and nods toward the house door. “He needs me. Now more than ever, with Suzanna to marry.” She gives Ramón an anguished look. “When he took me in, I made a vow to stay as long as he needs me. You know that.”
Her suitor nods, remembering the troubled teen who refused ten years before to marry the man her parents had chosen for her, the shelter Jeremiah Peabody gave her in exchange for help with his small daughter and the household work. Peabody never attempted to expand on that exchange and this fact only deepened the girl’s loyalty to him, especially after her parents died.
“Surely your debt to him has been paid,” Ramón says. Then he pauses and reaches gently to turn her chin toward him. “Surely he would not begrudge you this thing.” His eyes look into hers. “You have my heart. Are you ready now to swear another vow? To give me yours?”
She moves, half turning toward the door, but he reaches for her arm and the slight pressure is enough to stop her. “Por favor,” he says gently. “I think you will not deny me.”
Her eyes fill with tears and she gives him a little nod. “Si,” she whispers.
His hands move to her shoulders and she bends her head. He kisses her hair, inhaling the warm fragrance of her skin, mixed slightly with the dust of corn flour and the faint sweet scent of caramelized onion. “But I cannot leave him,” she says into his shoulder. “Not just yet.”
He nods. “There will be time,” he says soothingly. “I must prepare a home for us. And speak to Señor Peabody and the Padre. There will be time.”
She nods and turns her head to smile up at him. “You are a good man, Jesús Ramón Chavez.”
He shakes his head and smiles at her. “I am only a man. And I have waited this long. A little longer will be of no importance.”
As his arms tighten around her again and she lifts his face to his lips, there’s a slight rustle at the gate. They turn, his arm around her waist, to see Gerald and Suzanna, linked in the same way. The two women look at each other and laugh in delight.
Suzanna slips from Gerald’s grasp and crosses the courtyard. She reaches for Encarnación’s hand. “Shall we tell him together?” she asks. She turns to the men and makes a shooing motion. “Go on!” she says, smiling. “We’ll let you know when he’s ready to speak with you.”
Gerald and Ramón look at each other and shrug ruefully. Ramón gives the two women a small bow. “As you wish,” he says.
“We await your summons,” Gerald says from the gateway, and Suzanna flashes him a dazzling smile as she and Encarnación turn to disappear into the house.
Copyright © 2018 Loretta Miles Tollefson
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