Jonathan Reightmeyer had experimented with electromagnetic fields and had devised a means of promoting rapid and unrestrained growth. He produced a one thousand pound house sparrow. It got away and began snatching people up and pounding them to pieces on the ground before swallowing them.
The National Guard was called in, and they expended a lot of ammunition. Several of the soldiers became lunch. Finally city authorities summoned the sparrow whisperer.
A small man with large glasses, he walked right up to the sparrow and said very softly, “Cheep cheep.”
The bird was astounded at the crudeness of his accent and turned its head to get a better look. This gave the whisperer time to tie its feet together and throw some fast-drying glue on one of its wings.
It became a feather pillow.
Moral of the story: big little things are dangerous, and don’t believe everything you read.
Copyright 2013 George Lowell Tollefson